Category: Uncategorized

Why me ?


I know I haven’t been posting regularly I know it’s been a long time and I won’t fake a reason that I’ve been busy . BUT the reality is that I have been so broken that I didn’t feel like picking up anything. Some pain specially that of heart can crush you badly.
Life has come to a standstill like water .Neither I have been able to move forward nor backward. I don’t want to look back at memories and hurt myself.  I don’t want to keep on wondering whether you think about me the way I think about you. THIS feeling is killing me like anything.
You know there is a feeling that you don’t want to live anymore but at the same time die for someone who doesn’t even cares .What’s the whole point ?
I ask myself and god everyday why me ? Just why me ?
I have to find a way out of it. I will just not let my life slide in the darkness of night.


Oddly , life has taught me an another lesson today that more than needing a friend I needed an enemy. I know whosoever reads this would call me stupid but this is not my innocence speaking but my experience . We live are families for so long that an unbreakable bond develops between us. They are there for us and we are there for them. This relationship is on such a strong foundation that minor earthquake of difficult times and hardships cannot shake it .For a while they may be affect but the foundation is still firm. Sadly, what makes this foundation weak is love and no other emotion. Love is definitely a strong feeling but so are family values and respect.We are all blind in love and that is a fact I may deny it and you may also deny it but deep down we all know.

Now , if love is blind who will open our eyes ? Who will show us a clear picture of life ? Looking at things from a rose coloured glass always is not a good idea. This is why I need an ENEMY. I thank him for showing me the truth .He may not read this blog ever , he may never know if it even exists but I THANK him. He removed that rose coloured fantasy glass that was on my eyes for long .I was at a point where love and family was on the same staircase but with his stabbing a dagger on my family’s respect and integrity .I HAVE OPENED MY EYES. He has made me set my priorities right.My FAMILY COMES FIRST AND NO ONE ELSE.

It’s true that he may find a hundred girls more beautiful , smart , intelligent and mature than me. But he’s never gonna get or find someone like me.Funnily , I have never desired a hundred but just ONE no matter he is an average person but at least he respects me and my family.

Thank you god you teach me something new everyday .Thank you to my new enemy as well I have learned something from you as well.

Morning prayer

It’s true that each one of us wakes up with the same feeling that we sleep with. Even after the passage of so long time of sleep our mind may not function away  the problem .Why do we dwell on the problems for so long ? We need answers to everything no matter how long it takes .Clarity and honesty are relationships are those strong pillars in a relation without which a building can never be built.

I know I slept with a sad heart and have woken up with the same. Even my conscience is mocking at me now.O god! help me in this . Let everyone including me pay for there sins . Never punish me more then my sins .You hold the sin book of everyone’s life let all be paid fairly. I’ve never cursed someone but I am a human even I lose my mental balance. But I will wait for the time when all my questions will be answered and when everyone will be repaid back with interest. I have been humiliated and disgraced to such an extent that I hate my very existence , but I’m still waiting for your judgement. I keep my honour, respect , integrity in your feet today and leave it on you to decide and take a fair decision .

I request all of you to just leave things on god instead of just trying to jump to judgement. God has a plan for me and everyone as well. Let’s see when I get my answer sooner or later but I will surely get it.

(22/7/2015)(09 :29AM)

Every day (21/7/2015)

Some people keep there life like a closed book while some love shairing every detail of it .Truly , we all learn something everyday ,so this blog is more of my everyday account of life. No one understands you better than you are. Factly , we only tell 3% of ourselves to other while reserving 97% .But blogging is one medium where you share without disclosing .